For all  you girls out there that think that your prince is going to find you some day.  Give up.  The prince that happens to stumble onto your doorstep is not the one that you want.   You have to make your selection of a husband more carefully than you do choosing a college.  A good husband supports you, lifts you up, makes you part of a team.  A bad husband, can drag you down sap your energy.

DO NOT confuse marriage with romantic love.  Romantic love is about falling in love, being in love and acting in a loving way.  This is not marriage.  Marriage is work.  Love just makes it easier to bear the burden.  Your life is easier with a solid partner that you love.  But if you are torn between a man that is hot, and one that is stable.  Choose Stability every time.  Hot is great in a lover but fades quickly when you are faced with 2:00am feedings all by yourself.

A long term marriage is about a partnership.  It is you and him against the world.  You will have times when you won’t have enough money, or you have to make tough choices about medical decisions or family issues to deal with.  You need someone who is going to take positive action.  You are not always going to be able to take on everything.  If you choose a husband that is squimenish, or a folder you will end up hating him in the long run. 

If your man does any of these things RUN do not walk to the exit.

  • if he folds under pressure:  gets paralized by his decisions and doesn’t know what to do
  • if he seeks other people’s opinions and relys on them instead of his own
  • if he changes his opinion more than his socks
  • if he can’t manage money, 
  • if he puts off execercising
  • if he doesn’t see a doctor/dentist regularly
  • if he feels that people who are less than him are there because they brought it on themselves
  • if he has never had to prove himself (could be at school or sports)  Has he always taken the easy way out?
  • if he is grossed out by blood, puke or illness
  • if he doesn’t take care of you when you are sick
  • if he plans vacations with out you

The choice of a husband is yours.  Do not let a man choose you or a prince find you.  You are the one that is going to be most effected by a bad relationship.  You have all the cards.  You have what he wants (no not sex) Stability  Men need women.  Plain and simple.  You are always in the driver’s seat.